Every Single Day

I thought that what I felt was going to be over a long time a go... but... it never did...
He is so easy to be with... to like... but... evn though... I prefer you...
I don't want to be olding back... my problem is that you make me question everything and everyone...
It's so difficult to write this days...just because I know how I feel or how I still feel about you...
Every single day I ....

LIKE A MOVIE

My life sometimes feels like a movie ... but it isn't... because we are not together...like an happy ending cliche...

Distance... does harm to a lot of things... and I feel that the people that I love the most are to far away from me... I just have to suck it in... We don't always get what we want...
I know GOD is taking care of me... and He knows what I need... I want His will above anything...
I won't say that I want you...
After all this time I ...
I don't understand... how is it possible??...
If you don't care... if you don't even say... I'm not going to worry about it... it just means you don't deserve anything from me...
Probably is just "the angry part of me" saying but I'm disappointed right now...
I'm also mad at me because I haven't stop thinking... or caring...
LORD just hold me hard...
I would like it to be the way it was before... but if it isn't... it's because it isn't suppose to happen that way... two different ways...

Clearing my head...

I just don't understand.... why it happens every time...??...
You getting under my skin... you keep messing with my head... without asking permission...
I don't want to believe when i say to my self that it isn't possible...
I have wasted so many time on you... I've tried so much that...
It's not fair... you picking up things  that don't matter... that aren't worth to bother... things that once had meaning... had purpose...
I can't say it right now... I can't let my self say it... it doesn't make a difference... isn't worth it... letting it o... i've tried and I thought i did... but ...
Saying it out lou is the worst thing to do ... makes it real...
It's your fault... you shouldn't have gone back...
I'm angry at my self... at you...
Such a long time has passed since that first day...
Bad decisions... good decisions... only GOD knows why our lives crossed... even though it wasn't supposed to happen like we wanted...
God knows what we need... my will is nothing... HE's will is everything...
I don't think that "possibility" or "probability" works in a positive way here...

Do you like me??...Do you love me??.. I have been praying for us... have you been praying for us??.. I have so many doubts in my mind right now...
I know what i feel for you... but i don't know if we should go on or just be friends... this is being a hard time for me... i really miss you... i already know all that talk about "we will have other opportunities to be together"... but will we??...

This can't be floating in air ... I can't stay with questions forever... I need answers too...
This past few days i have been trying not to think about you... but let me tell you one thing... it's impossible.. every time i close my eyes... you appear...your eyes and the way you look at me... your smile and the way you make me smile too... your lips and the way you engage me in your conversation... your kindness... your love for GOD and doing His work... I might be crazy girl ...and be dreaming to much...!!... i honestly don't want to get myself hurt... i dont want to give myself for something that it's not going to work... i will keep praying because i want GOD's will in GOD's time.. but i really needed to tell you this... i feel that that is something wrong... i just don't know what it is.... can you tell me??...

GOD I love you and I am needing your guidence...

My Birthday...!!

Thank you GOD for one more year of life... I couldn't do it without YOU... You're the reason I live ...and I couldn't be more happy...  :D
Thanks for making me what I am today... for all the oportunities given to me... every person in my life... for being there every time I need...
LORD thanks for helping me trough all the sad and painfull moments and for the happy ones too.... You are so amazing that I can't even express myself...
You are my life... You are my all.. The best...
I LOVE YOU GOD ABOVE ANYTHING THAT EXISTS.... just help to keep in your way... and guide me trough the darkness... I want to do everything for you... I want to show people that you are worth it... and that with you all things are possible... build me as you want... ;)
THANK YOU JESUS CRIST... <3

Can we blame it on the raing??

It didn't even bothered me.... I was suprised with myself.... when did I stopped caring??.... when did I stopped having those feelings??.... did it just disappear??... did it vanished away??.... right now i can't tell but I'm happy this way....
So many silence joined with a long distance... I used to keep forgetting to forget about you.... the memories would come up in a blink of an eye... I remembered the way we laugh... the way we talked... the way we would look to each other... in a time when I thought that I would never ever miss those things and I end up missing it....in a time where we used to glow.... in a time that those things... you... were so important even when I was trying to make you less important...
Can we blame it on the rain??... I guess not.... but it was definitely something wonderful... something unforgettable... something crazy... something good...
The good part is that I recovered my breath... the one YOU took from me...
I won't forget but right now I won't miss it... I won't miss you that way...
We could look back and try to change somethings so it could work... but "we were meant to fall in love but not to be together" ...wasn't God's will... now I could look to the present and ask... "does she look at you the same way I once did?".... "does she feel the same rush that I once felt when you're around?"... "does she understand...??"... questions that I don't care about the answers anymore...
You're tangled and I am free... whose better??...
I might be somehow alone in this... but I will always find peace ... I will always find company... I will always find refuge in the ONE that will never leave behind or alone.... in GOD!!

Em Português.... ?!?!?

Sei que estás MUITO feliz, mas só quero dizer que ainda anseio por ti, pela tua felicidade!
AMOT-TE... palavra com diversos significados... diversos sentidos... desculpa, mas tinha de o dizer...
Não sei se há espaço no teu coração para mim, no entanto no meu nunca ninguém irá ocupar aquele lugar que um dia foi TEU...
Por mais que eu procure... que tente dar a volta ao mundo... tenho a certeza que não há ninguém como tu... ninguém com o teu toque... ninguém com o teu nível de interesse...
Ainda não consegui entender porque é que voltaste para mim... se sabias que não podias ficar?!?!...
Espero que todo o sentimento tenha valido apena... toda a espera... toda a angústia... toda a dor... que calada guardo no meu peito...
Enquanto isso fico extremamente feliz... com um sorriso de "orelha a orelha"... com o coração a bater mais forte que nunca... e tudo isso apenas por saber que ainda partilhas comigo a tua amizade... a tua honestidade... a tua sinceridade... a tua cúmplicidade... as tuas brincadeiras...
Desejo que continues feliz como se que te estão a fazer... que eu ficarei aqui... num silêncio cortante de cada pensamento... de cada palavra que eu escrevo... sempre à espera de mais uma conversa...

Never thought that I would write a text in portuguese and post it.... never thought that i would be able to express myself trough portuguese words... ;D

God is the only LORD and only KING of my life... I'm glad that I depend on Him... because I know He takes care of me... good care... ;D