"La vie en rose"...

You have heard everything from me but have you ever really listen what I was saying?... you are so busy trying to let go that you don’t even remember what you didn’t want to have anymore…

I let you know so much about me… I don’t regret it but if I could, I would go back words… I think now that “c’est la vie” and not always is “en rose”… I for once let myself go and now I can’t take it back…

Sometimes it’s hard to believe that there’s always going to be a change… for bad or for good? ... we never know…

I miss you being my friend… not just a friend a good friend… a friend that I could talk to without caring about the rest of the world…

You will never get by me and turn out to be nothing or just one more person in the same street as me… which means that I will never forget, not like you did…

Every time you say something I love what I feel… even though that it might mean nothing… I, for some reason, get happy, afraid, excited, unsure… because I never know if is the last time you talk to me…

You pushed me out… and even though it seems I’m okay with it… I’m not… I need to get in… you make me be myself… but now I’m pretending to be fine…

Can you....??

Can you forget? I can't... Can you feel me? I’m so close to your heart… Can you hear me? In the silence I scream your name saying that I love you… Can you breathe? I can’t, because I know that I’ll never ever have you again… Can you kiss me? I won’t let you… Can you see me? I can, if close my eyes, and I doubt that you can! ... CAN YOU REMEMBER ME AGAIN?....

LAST KISS... LAST MOMENT...

I was naive to think that it wasn't going to be a last kiss...

What was missing in the end was the actually last kiss... a specific kiss that was never given... a kiss that would mark THE END of something great... a kiss that would've given me the memory of the last day that we loved each other... just like a goodbye...

I still remember the FIRST kiss... all I wanted now was the LAST kiss... the last moment... the last talk... the last hug...the last move of my lips saying your name... the last tear dropping down your face... the last beat of your heart for me... the last bit of feeling  for me as US...

Knowing that i could still be your friend... was the most exciting thing... after all we had been trough.... but you let me down... you ran away... you were afraid to face the situation...you just couldn't handle the fact that I was completly fine with it...

I just wanted a true FINISH... I'm not saying that I still have hope in "the" us... which I don't have... I just think that both of us would deserve that...

If this were a movie you would be here for that... you would be just my friend... and for that I'm still waiting...

GOD will do his work in it's own time... I know for sure that HE will be faithful to me... and that HE will do his will in my life and that's what I want... despite of the obstacles.... despite having to let some parts of my life go...

Tired...Happy...

One day i will get so mad and i will forget the consequences... forget your reaction... your opinion... i will put myself out there...and scream at you so hard about everything..... about what ever is left unsaid.... about everything and nothing... i'm going to say non-sense  things...tired of taking  everything to myself...
Besides all i'm super hiper mega happy....GOD does everything in it's own time....HE knows what needs to be done...
The only thing that i know for sure about the future is that.... i will keep on serving GOD...
I dont deserve you or your love and you are still by my side protecting me and taking care of me...
I can not thank you enough my LORD.... YOU never let me down....
LOVE YOU GOD <3

So Many...

I dont want to be in this situation... It doesn't affect me but i prefer to avoid it...
People talking to me about...someone that once was part of my life... and I have to pretend that I dont remember WHO is HIM... that one day ran after marking me positive and negatively by his friendship.... but I think it's what it is ...
We have to learn from our mistakes... i always heard that...
There were so many unanswered questions ... so many wounds without mercy ...
You didn't put an end ... you just let ellipsis ... and they're still with me ... I do not think I'll be waiting much longer for the last conversation you promise me... i just don't care anymore...
What ever will be...will be...

It's Weird....

It's weird how sad the funny things get as time goes by...
It's weird that i don't have nothing to say... though i love to talk...
...nothing makes me pick up my pen..... though i love to write...
...nothing interesting to listen .... though i love music
Anyone could say that I'm lost...and that... i might be crazy....sad.... angry.... or what ever...but...even weirder is that I'M NOT!...
I dont even recognize myself... i'm not saying that that is a bad thing....
God knows the answer to every "WHY?".... and HE listens to our prayers...Thanks for that...

Even thought it was a Great day....

Even though it was a great, great day.... i admit that while i was laughing for everything and nothing, while i was hanging out, while i was watching the movie... i couldnt stop thinking about you and how i would like today be a different day... it should be just like the day i had planned... but i guess that we cant always get what we want... isnt that right??....
I know that i was rough... but i had to... i mean.... i was looking like a fool...waiting for nothing... i also know that i dont have the right to require anything from you... but i was expecting some consideration from you....
It's not ok... i need an answer...
I just hope that you dont regret the decision that you made... choosing the silence... choosing not saying what you wanted...
I just want to do GOD's will.... and i hope this is it...